I'm not allowed to play with you

MC is happy that she is finding more friends in school. But what she misses most are those playmates who would visit her at home.

I told her she could invite her friends to our home and she excitedly approached one while I observed them from afar.

In a second, MC came back with a little frown saying, 'my friend said her mom told her she is not allowed to play with me in our house.'

I explained to her that she must not take that personally. Her friend wont accept her invitation maybe because her mom forbid her to say yes without asking first for permission. The same thing I keep telling them, 'to let me know first before deciding on such things as playtime, birthday invites and house visits with other kids.'

Plus, I told her that since the school just started, some people needed a little time until the parents would get to know more the kids and their parents in school before they would be allowed to visit each other.

A 'No' is Okay, Too

The girls were invited to a kiddie birthday party where the adults were allowed to stay (for a change :D).

They joined the lines in the salon, in the face painting, in the balloon-making, in the sweets corners; but they balked on the idea of joining the games. But IC, my five year old, just cant hold her excitement when she saw that the kids who joined the games got prizes for their efforts and got extra gifts when they won.

I was thinking she wanted to join the contest to get those; but nope, my clever girl wants to get them her own special way as she asked me, 'Mama, could you please ask the host of the party if she could give me those prizes simply as gifts?'

I smiled at her cleverness and told her that would be unfair to the other kids but her answer made me move, she said, 'You know what mama, if she said 'no', that would be okay. The main thing is we asked her.'

That made me grab her hands to bring her to the host. One thing though, I told her she should be the one to ask. And she did ask. And she got a 'yes' and her handful of gifts.

Compromise

Tantrums. Fights. Screams. Tears. Hurts. Bad words.

I told my girls they could avoid those things.

They should learn to compromise.

That there are always free choices.

That they should learn to choose what they think would be best for them.

That tantrums, fights, screams, tears, bad words nor hurts would not always help.

They could choose to talk; rather than argue.

They could choose to discuss; rather than scream.

They could choose a pause; rather than use bad words.

They could choose a hug ; rather than hurt.

And most importantly, they should know that we always love them no matter what.