Nanay = Mother = Mutter

Dear Nanay,

Happy Mother's Day!

When was the last time we saw each other? That was a long time ago, in 2010, in a far away country.

But the distance won't keep you from letting us know how much you love us. Your letters are short and sometimes, a bit hurried, but there's love overflowing in the words. I could even feel them flowing as I hold the letter close to me while I read them alone, or repeatedly even, for your granddaughters.

A much younger Nanay

Then there's the random packages that we would receive, supposedly for Christmas or for somebody's birthday that would might arrive a month late or even, a year later. We know how much it took time for you to choose and collect those items to suit our tastes. We received the love that got wrapped along with those gifts.

A Tribute to Bernie (September 05, 1962 - January 2013)

Dear Bernie,

It took a long time to write this. Because until now, I still cannot believe that you are gone.

I wonder what really happened to you. What happened, dear friend? It's only you who could answer and I guess we would never know.

I am sorry that you were alone when you it's time for you to leave this world. I am sorry that it took awhile before somebody discovered you. It hurt to think about that.

So sorry, too, that we had to speculate. I learned about you through a Facebook private message. And even then, the messages were still unconfirmed.

Someone told me you asked for assistance after you learned that you need to undergo an operation. But that you had to cancel it. Someone told me about an amputation. All speculations.

You see, most of those people close to you seemed to have started missing you before you even left. A good old friend even told me that you called a few months ago thanking him for everything. What that a sign of something?

How about between us? I still have your note in our guest book written last November 2009 when you became our guest in Manila. A part of your message started: 'Friendshi is like wine, the longer it lasts, the better it tastes!' We had fun that time. Getting lost in the jungle of the small streets. I remember you treating me to a Filipino dinner in a small motel. I remember getting most of the 'pasalubong' (gifts) in your huge luggage.

Sadly, I remember that you also stopped communicating with me a few months afterwards. I assumed you thought I was angry with you. I was not. I gave you the peace you wanted but I always thought about you. I wanted to get in touch for a long time. I don't know why I didn't. And now, this.

But still in your note, you said: 'I believe that despite being apart from each other, we will all be together in thoughts and God's loving grace.' I believe the same, too, dear Bernie.

Conclusion of our Donation Drive for Haiyan Survivors

Day Eight of our donation drive:

From the mother who attended the World Youth Day 

She told me she's visited our country. She was there during the World Youth Day with Pope John Paul II. She was amazed how big the crowd was during that event. I was there, too, I told her  She has attended every World Youth Day since.

She said she also went to Boracay, Subic, the Smokey Mountains, etc. She said visiting the Philippines was an experience that she would never forget. She said the Filipino people are amazing. I totally agree with her, as I agree that German people are amazing, too. :-) (Okay, everyone is just amazing especially the generous ones!)


She told me she's visited our country. She was there during the World Youth Day with Pope John Paul II. She was amazed how big the crowd was during that event. I was there, too, I told her  She has attended every World Youth Day since.

She mentioned going to Boracay, Subic, the Smokey Mountains, etc. and added that visiting the Philippines was an experience that she would never forget. 

She said the Filipino people are amazing. I totally agree with her, as I agree that German people are amazing, too. :-) (Okay, everyone is just amazing especially the generous ones!)

Welcome to the World, Zeth Alkin!

Zeth Alkin 

Your Tita (aunt) was busy packing and repacking for our camping trip when you were born last August 2, dear Zeth Alkin.

But I did notice that the world felt more wonderful and looked more beautiful, I am sure it was because you're a great addition to the human race.

I am pretty sure your mom and dad, and your super makulit big brother, Zyle, are now enjoying smelling your gentle baby perfume.
I am pretty sure your grandparents are now fighting for the chance to have you in their arms.
I am pretty sure your cousins, aunts and uncles are now busy shopping for gifts to bring to you.
I am pretty sure friends and other loved ones are now making time to visit you.

A Tribute to a Beloved Nephew: Erwin Borja Vasquez (March 22, 1984 - August 8, 2013)

Dear Erwin,
I heard you're gone.
I heard you left around 4 p.m. last Thursday, August 8.
You left forever, leaving all the pains and aches behind.
After being hospitalized.

You're only 29.
But I guess it simply time, to meet your mom again.

I know we planned to see each other again: to get-together, to party, to celebrate, to exchange stories and share laughters.
You know what I would do about those plans now?
Get back to those thoughts, to our chats and remember the fun we had.

I am thankful for your ready and quick answers everytime I leave you private messages.
I am grateful that you're a dog-lover just like me.
I am happy that you found the perfect partner.
(Remember, I hoped to get the chance to meet him?)
I am glad you get to enjoy your life. Short but sweet, right?

After 27 years...

School friends mini-reunion after more than 27 years

Thanks to Facebook, old school friends have met again after 27 years to reminisce about the good, old times.

Who would have thought we would all be leaving our home country and would be finding each other again in Europe after those long years?

Let me savor this short visit from these girls first. Let me cherish our reminiscing until late nights. Let me linger with laughters ringing in my ears. Let me fill my stomach with those comfort foods reminding me of home. Let me enjoy the warm company, sprinkled with thoughts of those missed friends. Let me talk about lost loves, found loves, missed loves, future loves. Let me get to know them again, over and over again.

Will blog later :-)

We are Boston

Prayers for the dead.
Prayers for the injured.

Prayers for everybody affected, including that somebody who even thought about doing such a horrible thing, for that somebody who moved to create such a horrible thing.

Special prayers for the runners.
Special prayers for the children and the old people.
Special prayers for the spectators.
Special prayers for the helpers.
Special prayers for the families of the victims.

Prayers for the people of Boston.
Prayers for the people of the world.

Prayers.
Peace. Unity. Love.

We are Boston.

Let's hug our loved ones...

A Tribute to Thess (March 30, 1970 - February 13, 2012)

Thess and TJ

Today is the birthday of a dear friend, Thess.
She's supposed to turn 43, and I am sure she's celebrating it wherever she's found happiness.
Because last year, about a month before her birthday, she left to find her own heaven after a heart attack.

I didn't realize she was already having heart problems.
The thing is, she has lost a lot of weight since I first met her in 2008.
We started as co-workers before we slowly yet surely, found a friend in each other.

We had lots of adventures together. We did long distance commutes to visit fellow employees: riding buses, tricycles and getting sun burned while sitting at the back of an open jeep.

We did overnights, karaoke nights, binge nights, strike nights.
We went window shopping, midnight shopping, bargain shopping.
We watched movies, watched television, watched people.
We went swimming, sometimes even at night.

Created our very own adventure which we call exercise. After work, we would change our working heels into a pair of running shoes. We would jog from where we work along Roxas Boulevard in Malate, Manila to Libertad, Pasay City. It took us around 30 minutes.

Both of us, we're crazy. Can you imagine jogging in the pathway of that area? Dark, wild, polluted, inhabited by squatters, hiding place of snatchers, and normally, a no man's land. But we are doing that for our health, we told ourselves. We wanted to keep fit. We wanted to live a long and healthy life.

The real deal, I think is that, we wanted to have fun :-) And we did. We enjoyed the adventure. Thinking about it now, we are really crazy. But nothing happened to us, right? Instead, our friendship deepened.

Then I found another job. Thess stayed behind and remained a friend. Then I had to go away, long, long distance. Thess stayed behind and remained a friend.

Dear Egai (1969-2012)

Edgar 'Egai' Elguerra (1969-2012)

Hey, Egai.

Remember our early grade school days?
Hurrying to the canteen during recess.
Finding a place to enjoy our snacks.
Sharing lunches.
Playing around the school grounds,
(naalala mo lumulusot tayo dun sa may dulo ng waiting shed para tumakas minsan?)
buying street food behind the school gates,
while waiting for our 'sundo?'

And then the time when we were allowed to go home alone?
Sometimes, we would walk together.
Even though I am supposed to be turning left and you turning right.
But we simply needed the short walk to chat up,
to look at the baskets of goodies sold by the street vendors,
to buy some yummy street food.

Then high school.
You went to the boy's school next door.
I remained loyal to the girl's school.

But everytime I would see you, I would always call your name.
Greet you, chat a bit, ask about your mother.
(Remember, my mother and your mother got to know each other, too)

There's a Line to Heaven

Our little baby Chris John is in heaven.

He visited earth for eight short days.
And then he earned his wings.

My sister, his mother, who had him in her womb for six months, asked the question, 'what do you call a mother who lost a child?' I guess, the answer is they are called 'very special mother.'

Special mothers who could endure all.
Special mothers who would endure all.

Special mothers chosen by God.
Special mother chosen because they can.

Special mothers who are blessed with a special strenght.
Special mothers who are gifted with special hearts, special souls, special angels.

And yes, special mothers have a special line to heaven, too.
Just like special aunts like me :-)

Happy Birthday, Bro (Allan Kalan)

Dear Allan,

Can you imagine?

You still have your long hair.

You still have tinker with your drums; still creating your noisy kind of music.

You still control the drum sticks in your band, Brutal Punishment.

You still head bang your way.

You still manage to enjoy that nighttime kind of life.

You still maintain that same macho figure!

You still keep that happy-go-lucky attitude that keeps you up.

You still prefer to just be...

And yet, you already have a family!

A cute little boy who looks so much like you. A pretty lady on your side.

What else would you wish for on this special day, right?

Happy Birthday!!!

You will be missed, Kuya Nilo

Photo taken in 2008, Kuya Nilo is the one second one on the right.

Dear Kuya Nilo (Brother Nilo),

I am pretty sure of this.

Your body left the earth because you wanted to have the best place to watch over your wife and your three daughters up there.

I know it was not easy for them to let you go.

It was so abrupt. One moment you were there. Another second you were hanging on to life.

I heard it was hours of banging for your life. But in the end, they have to say goodbye. You were needed someplace else.

And although we are sad that you left, there are memories to remember you by.

You being always on the move. Always busy with your skillful hands doing repairs for anything working on electricity. Always busy with friends enjoying your own way of relaxation; (hey, who doesn't love karaoke!!). Always busy with loving your family in your own special way.

Your three girls? I can't believe how big they are now. I am sure they have their own special memories of their Papa in their hearts. I am sure they are very proud of you. I am sure they would love you forever.

Your wife, Ate Thess (Sister Thess)? I am sure she is flooded with special memories. I am sure she is very proud of you. I am sure she would love you forever.

Your family and friends? I am sure they would remember you in kindness.

Rest in peace, Kuya Nilo.

You will be missed.

Happy Sweet 18, Ate Cha!

Dear Ate Cha,

Already 18?

We still remember when you used to play Barbie with us. But we also had fun playing tag, hide and seek and simply running around.

Yet we do remember, those days when we tinker with make-ups and nail polishes. When we go home with clothes coming from you, simply because we decided to raid your closet, decided to try on your clothes and you were generous enough to share!

We know that you are a good sister, because you're a great cousin. We love you.

Although we are disappointed that we cannot celebrate with you. Especially since this is your debut and my Mama told me that in the Philippines, 18th birthday is always a big celebration.

Good thing that we joined the Christmas party with the radio station, FFH.de, which is today, too. We are asked to wear red and we have decided to wear Santa hats. Of course, there are food and drinks, too. Therefore, we are partying with you!

Have fun!

Love,
MC and IC

P.S. It is also Oma's birthday!!! Happy birthday, dear Oma!

Did you choose the date of my birth?

'Why is it that my birthday is December 10?' MC asked me. 'I wanted a different birthdate. How could you choose such a date?'

My answer was, 'I didnt choose your birthdate. The doctor gave me an estimated date of your arrival and you chose to come 10 days earlier. Therefore, it was you who wanted that date.'

I explained further that it was the same with IC, she came 10 days earlier, too. And I went on to inform you the cute details that happened during THAT day as you both eagerly savored the stories and giggled deliciously.

MC's birthdate story goes like this: I was telling her papa that after putting up all the Christmas decors, the baby could come. We went shopping in Mannheim, a big shopping area in Germany and had a dinner of spicy Mexican food. That night, I saw a drop of blood in my urine and I told my husband that I just saw the sign that our baby is coming. (My mother warned me it could start with just a drop of blood).

We got ourselves ready, I took a shower even, lugged my bag and we drove to the hospital in Heidelberg. At around 1 am, the parking lot is empty. But of course, my husband's nervousness made him miss the big post in front of him. Not a big damage, but it happened :D

MC laughed so hard and made me repeat the story again and again. IC was giggling beside me.

IC's birthdate story meanwhile goes: We have prepared MC to get used to sleeping without us; brought her to her aunt to stay overnight to 'practice' once. Around midnight (again), my water broke. We woke MC up, she was two years old at that time, she readily got up, dressed herself up -- all alone.

We called up her aunt and she was picked up after a few minutes; before my husband and I drove to Heidelberg. In the middle of our trip, I remembered I didnt help MC put on her shoes. (It was cold that early morning in April) When we called her aunt up, she told us MC's got shoes on. I guess she learned how to put on her shoes that night. (Good girl!)

Oh, and that the first night that MC slept alone with her papa in our big bed; she cried because as she said, 'I miss mama.'

Happy Birthday, Arjay!

Dear Arjay,

Happy, happy birthday!

I still can't believe my youngest brother is now a big boy.

And yes, I still can't see you as a man :-D. Or maybe I refuse to.

Whatever...

All I know is that I am proud of what you have become. I am sure everyone in the family is proud of you, too.

The sweet little boy who always share his pieces of cake or sticks of french fries to Nanay (Mother) is now the sweet big boy who always brings gift snacks to share with his nieces and nephew, of course, with Nanay at Tatay, too. MC and IC long for those sweet snacks you always carry with you almost every visit.

You are one generous guy, that's why you are finding generous friends, too. I know you would keep them because you are you.

And yes, enjoy your travels. It is one way to grow in this generous world, too.


We love you, Arjay!

Happy Birthday, Anna!

Dear Anna,

We wish you a very happy birthday!

Tonight, we would drink shots of Tequila to celebrate with you.

Despite the time difference, pareho pa rin ang tama :-D

Have fun, dear sister!

We love you!!

She's Gone

And I was just thinking of sending her an e-mail a day after she left.
I wanted to ask her how she's doing.

I wanted to know if we could finally visit her.
If she's finally well enough to accept visitors.

I wanted to feel again her special kind of friendship, our special kind of friendship.
After all, we havent seen her for more than two years.

Though we have closely communicated per email, that's not enough, of course.
I wanted to see her again. I wanted to give her a hug. I wanted to hear her.

I wanted to show off the girls.
How grown up they are.

I wanted to thank her for her help.
How her words and her recommendations were followed.

That last email that I wanted to send her?
It was supposed to comfort her, to tell her we are continuously praying for her.

I wanted to show her that she is not alone. That even though she is too sick, too weak, too weary; people who love her wouldnt want to miss being with her. Just being there.

And now, I could only write this blog post. In the hope that she would be able to read it.

Dear Renate, it was a shock to read your obituary in the newspaper yesterday. But it is good to know that your pain is gone. We are happy that we have shared special memories with you. I am sure, wherever you are, love sorrounds you. You might want to keep your eyes on us, once in a while; to keep us from being naughty. Or else we wont receive that special homemade Christmas card tucked with special Christmas stories created by you year after year. I know, I know, you see, I am hoping I would look up in the sky and find your signature there, too! We wont forget!

Happy Birthday, Little Sister!

Oops, I know, you are not little anymore.
You are already in your early 30s.
And you are also bigger than me now :-D

But for me, you are still my little sister.
The one with the killer eyes. And I mean literally and figuratively.
I remember that even our father would figure out in fights just because you threw someone your killer stare and made them uncomfortable.

I would remember you as the one always in the middle of arguments. I remember that with five siblings -- you are the only one that brought our parents to the school guidance counsellor; not only once but how many times. I remember that one time, you brought the whole family in tears just because... and you brought people in tears just because...

But despite all those misunderstandings, I would like to call them now; we managed, and you managed yourself good (despite jumping into different universities and changing your courses).

I didnt know that you would follow my steps -- going into writing and the love of words. I didnt know you had it into you to be the president of the university's student council! I didnt know a lot about you, but now, I am glad I am knowing more about you.

Imagine, more than 30 years of being sisters and I am just starting to get to know you. And I am enjoying knowing about you, as my girls are enjoying knowing you.

Distance doesnt matter, little sister.
You are remembered with pride and joy and much love on your special day.

Happy Birthday, Anna.

P.S. The girls want lumpiang shanghai be delivered to us as according to them, you are sure to have them on your birthday!

Sister Sharing

MC got a bar of chocolate from the ref.


IC wanted to have a piece.


MC said no.

MC came in with a friend and IC.

MC gave a big chunk of the chocolate to her friend.

That was when I asked MC, 'why did you give that piece to your friend when your sister wanted it?'

MC said because IC didnt give her a piece of her chocolate yesterday.

I told her that is not enough reason not to share; that she should first learn to share to her sister before being really generous with her friends.

'If IC have something you wanted, how would it feel if she gave it to another instead of you?', I told her. I also explained to her that the real meaning of sharing should first start from those closest to you. As she is the eldest, IC must learn from her good example.

She acknowledged my words with a wave to IC to come; and she gave a piece of the chocolate.

A Tribute to Sheila Deyro 1969-2008

No, we were not really close friends, nor were we classmates in high school

I only know Sheila as one of the CAT officers during fourth year

We didnt even move in the same circle of friends, in fact, I was in awe of her

She always stand so tall and so proper esp in uniform during those CAT sessions

I didnt even dream we'd meet again after more than 20 years!

But we did, in a supposed to be, mini reunion with my high school batchmates during our trip to the Philippines this year

It really a mini reunion, as it was only Sheila with her daughter and Cecil with her husband; who came

In those few hours, during a short evening visit with us this February 2008

Right there...Sheila became a big part of my life.

She with her long, curly hair

She with her ready smile and tingling laugh

She who twinkled when she asked me to find a man for her

She who visibly got shocked when my husband asked if her daughter also wanted a boyfriend

Emphatically saying 'No, she's only 14!' But you see, her daughter is also as tall as her. (Malaking bulas)

You wouldnt know they arent sisters! And of course, she almost blushed when we told her that

Almost, because she gave in to laughter

It tickled her to know that she really looks good

Despite the fact that she's been struggling with cancer for a year

But you see, that sickness didnt put her down

It brought her closer to Him. It made her look at the world differently -- with more hope and more love and more laughter.

She have given herself up to the Lord from the moment she realized how difficult her condition would be. And she is open about her faith and I admire her for it.

She enjoyed life. She laughs with her heart. She talks with her eyes. She embraces with strenght. And she makes her friends smile with her quips

And oh yeah, could I ever forget, she wants to look good, our dear Sheila

She dont want to face the camera without flicking her hair here and there

Without retouching her make-up, without puckering her lips -- which brought all of us to laughter and she laugh with us, too

Of course I told her, you dont need to do anything, you already look good

And she does, Sheila looked good.

And those few hours of storytelling and reminiscing, those few hours of giggling like high school girls, those few minutes of pizza sharing, those few minutes of cola drinking, those few minutes of picture taking, and those prolonged goodbyes with loads of hugs and bussies...

Sheila made me feel good. When I should have been the one to make her feel good.

And then the next few days of exchanging text messages... I didnt think she would bother with nurturing new and a long distance friendship at that, but she did.

And she grew in my heart from then on.

We both tried to keep in touch regularly. Until she had to go back to the hospital a few months ago. Her condition worsened. From then on, her number became silent.

I could only hear about news from her from friends and batchmates. I sent prayers her way.

And last Thursday, Sheila left us.

Sheila, the tall girl with curly hair and a ready smile is gone.

But I know, she'll stay in the heart of the people she touched, like me.

Dear Sheila, you have fun, wherever you are!

Blind them with your sparkling smile, dear girl!

Throw them that tinkling laugh, you lovely woman!

Dont forget to flick your wonderful mane, you look great!

And remember, we love you.