How did I cope with our loss?

Although it is hard, I tried to keep the normal phase of our everyday life.

In between doing the arrangements for the funeral with the whole family, I was all over.

I cooked. I cleaned the house. I went grocery shopping. I brought the kids to school and kindergarten. I brought them to their sports and ballet classes. They were allowed to visit their playmates. MC did her homeworks. I even joined MC's class during their outing to pick apples on a farm near us.

There was only one concession, I talked to MC's teacher that MC might not be able to work on her homework that Thursday during the funeral, (the teacher was generous enough to say that MC could work on her assignments on the weekend). But MC wont hear of it. Despite the crowded living room (some cousins arrived early); MC eagerly worked on her assignments.

But there are also things that I did more just because I wanted to get myself busy and just because I know I would find help from such things: I baked bunches of cookies and cakes most of which are still in the freezer; I sorrounded myself with loads of reading materials that focuses on spiritual, inspirational and self-help; I wrote and wrote about things I felt and I saw and I smell and I hear; I gave more hugs and kisses; I threw more words of comfort; and I looked with more love. And yes, I held long phone conversations from some cherished friends.

And thank God, opa's recovered enough to get out of the stroke unit in the hospital after a mild stroke that happened right after the funeral. But I would like everyone reading to pray for more strenght for him.