Is oma really gone?

IC's asked me that question a few times these past two days already.

She wants to know where oma is.

She wants to know why she's not here anymore.

She wants to know how she died.

She wants to know if she could talk to her again.

She wants to know what would happen to her.

And this morning, she told me that she finds oma 'gemein' (tricky) because she died.

We tried to answer all her questions, but sometimes, we react with more hugs and kisses as words arent easy to find or tears would clog the throat and no words would come out. But I think, she understands.

MC's first reaction when she learned about it? She wanted to go to oma and opa's house after school. She's too cool about it.

She wants to give her drawings which she made specially for oma and for opa the night before.

She doesnt ask much. But her eyes, her actions and her silence hold enough questions.

And her sleep walking and sleep talking tell us more than when she's aware and awake.

Both of the girls want to be there for the funeral. We asked them, because you see, they discourage kids in funerals here -- and they said 'yes, we want to be there.'

And I agree. I would really want them to know what this is all about. After all, oma loved them and I know, they love and miss the oma very much. And oma was also a big part of their lives after all.

Plus, this is a chance for them to say goodbye.
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It's helps to blog about it. It eases the pain. And yes, I really wanted to talk about it but I cant as tears would always get in the way. Writing about it is easier and it helps a lot.