Sunday, December 14, 2008

I dont want a birthday party anymore!

We celebrated MC's birthday party last Friday. We didnt know it would end with a dilemma.

It started well enough. She helped with the decoration and even helped pack her party loots (see the small packages).

And then her friends came one by one. As our tradition, we started off the party with a game of spin the bottle -- this time, the bottle would pick the first one to give MC her gift and it would be opened for everyone to see. Until everyone had their turn. Usually, I would be there to help them. But this time, they said, they are all old enough. So I left them alone.

And then when everbody's done, they wanted to try the game 'Uno.' Here is where the day started became sour for MC. As she said, nobody wanted to listen to her explaining the game. She left he friends and banged her door, crying. Papa came to the rescue and talked to her. But at this time, another friend of her was already feeling agitated as she said, everybody's becoming so loud. Well, I told her, there are almost ten children here and everybody just wanted to talk and nobody wanted to listen. And I reminded them that as MC is the birthday girl, she would have to be listened to as she would run the program for this day.

So to clear the air, we went down to my made-in-30-minutes pinata. I simply took a box and wrapped it gaily and hang some ribbons to make it look a bit more cheerful. The kids had fun but before the pinata is over, the kids started to argue with each other again. That made MC sour and she run, crying to her Papa again.

We tried to distract the kids by playing more games with them and of course, by giving them their dinner of spaghetti (with sauce and without sauce). Only spaghetti. They were too excited to open their loots that most of them didnt eat much. I guess we need to keep the loots until the end of the party, as we usually do, next time.

And then there were more games. And there were more arguments. I dont really know. I was really getting frustrated with what's happening and MC, too.

The thing is, even as the party progressed, we discovered one of MC's school folder stuffed in the garbage bin. I was really surprised, more shocked, to find it there. What if my husband didnt find it there (he lost something and decided to look into the garbage bin)? Something so important isnt to be played with.

Who would have thought to rummage into MC's school bag while the party is going on? Who would have the gal to take that school folder and stuff it into the garbage bin? Just because they were arguing over something? I couldnt believe one of these young kids could do that. And to be frank, I also discovered the culprit. The guilty mouth itself admitted to me, though I am sure it wasnt meant to be said.

MC wasnt enjoying anymore, the last straw was knowing what happened to her school folder. She voiced it out with saying 'I dont want to a birthday party anymore!' Well, I could understand her.

We didnt tell everybody about her school folder and we dont plan to tell her who did it. I wonder though how I should deal with the culprit? Should I talk to the culprit first and tell the parents later? Or should I inform the parents first? I think what happened was very, very bad. For some one as young to have done something like that.

I need to do something about it as this is someone who is very close to MC. I dont want to start turning down the requests to visit us just because we havent cleared this issue. And I think the culprit should know that what was done is very wrong.

Any suggestions on how to handle this?


Anonymous said...

Oh, that is a sad thing to happen.

I feel sorry for MC, she should have been having a blast! So what kind of collateral damage did you do?

I hope you would be able to talk to the parents and set rules with the kid especially when she (I'm guessing its a she) comes over to your house.

Kaya mo yan, Raq :)

Unknown said...

Cuz, it's such a shame she didn't enjoy her party. here are my suggestions for future parties that might be helpful:

- before it starts, you have to set the ground rules. you can even specify this in the invite together with your theme/program for the day.

- also, i'm not a fan of "run your own program" for kids (not until they're probably 10 or older), only because they don't know how things work yet - though they claim they do.

- if it's more than 5 kids, I think it should all be adult supervised activities.

- you can try activities that need no leader/ explaining of mechanics if it wont be supervised such as watching a good movie with popcorn, board games where rules are all set etc.

As for that girl who threw the folder, I think she's just totally being a silly kid. Since they're close friends, maybe you can talk to her once you get the chance. I suggest a casual talk so the girl doesn't get scared of/ intimidated by you. Just say something like "MC was quite upset about what happened at the party - do you know a way we can make this right or better?" Let her suggest what to do or decide what she can do to help her friend. I'm not sure abt telling her that you know she did it. Some kids will just not admit to it. But at the end of the day, if she's a real friend, she would help MC. This will also help you understand whether your child is associating herself with the right company. Maybe MC shouldn't hang out with her as often but that should be her decision.

For me, I believe I can't have much of a control over other people's kids but I would certainly control my own so I would provide my kids the tools to be able to identify good friends from bad and encourage them to choose their friends wisely.

Dami ko yatang na share Ate Keng - sana may sense and helpful!

Anonymous said...

Maybe you could tell the parents what happened and let them handle the situation. I'm sure they understand the importance of the school folder and that it shouldn't be thrown in the trash. MC would have had to do double the work if she lost it.

Raising kids is sweet AND tough...

raqgold said...

julie, you know kids. when the day is over, they would forget about it. they ended up extending the party until almost 7 pm, but of course, there were only a few kids then.

ging, thanks for the input! it is great that you were able to share a long, long list of very important things. sometimes, we tend to forget that although our kids are asking for responsibilities, insisting that they are old enough; they are still too young to work everything out by themselves. MC and I learned something from this experience. and yes, MC's already distancing herself from that particular kid. she said she's becoming irritating. that's why it's a wonder why that kid's been invited.

joanne - you are sooo right! we cant control and watch out for everything. there would be lots of times that they would have to learn to handle their challenges alone. but it is a relief when we could still work it out by talking about the problems.

lovelyn said...

Wicked! Naku naman yun, "devilish" na sa akin yung crime ng culprit na yan. Kawawa naman, this are signs of misguided creatures(sorry to say), isali mo na rin ang influence ng "gene" power(lol).

lovelyn said...

Oooppps! Happy Belated Birthday Princess MC!