Friday, April 18, 2008

Is this how a four year old should be?

There are terrible twos, and I had my share of the horrible threes but I never heard about the terror of fours. Oh yeah, IC who we thought would remain the most quiet of our two girls, wont give me any peace for the past weeks! She a little terror, believe me.

And this is making me crazy, I would only have peace if some moms reading this would tell me that they know what I mean :D

You might want to read what I wrote about IC during her 4th birthday this week, I really thought she's just too excited, knowing a big party with her chosen friends coming, I allow a bit of craziness on her part. But, this has been going on for more than three weeks, every single day an average of two tantrums per day!

The main reason she's terrorizing me is her wardrobe. She wants to wear a dress or a skirt, everyday. And then, even though I make sure that she alone would choose her dress the night before, she would always change her mind the next day. That is, after she's already all dressed up! My eyes would be piercing her at this point.

The next fight would be that she would want to go out wearing only socks, at five degrees centigrade outside! When I ask her to put on a pair of stockings, she would try on at least two and that would be her good day because sometimes that would reach four! By this time my ears and nose are already burning.

Of course, she must comb her hair. Do you think she'd let her hair be combed without her crying her eyes out and without her giving me a shove for trying to untangle her hair? I have to escape to the bathroom!

The fourth hurdle would be her pair of shoes. She would put on her very big Pippi shoes or her church shoes; very inappropriate for winter, and sometimes the rainy days. I wanted to strangle myself this time.

And now she must put on her shawl, her hat and her thick jacket. Of course at this time, she would scream that she cant do those things alone. Well, I am already waiting outside and trying to cool off or else, grrrrrr....

Oh and did I tell you that this past week is their hiking week? She's supposed to be wearing hiking boots, warm stockings, long pants, thick sweaters. They are walking into the woods and it would be muddy and really roughing it up. We are supposed to wake up an hour earlier than usual so that she could go with the hiking group in kindergarten. Can you imagine the drama that happened every morning? I refuse to tell you as just thinking back is already giving me a bad headache.

The thing is, she only joined the hike two times. The first day because she cant find a dress (I hide them) thus she's dressed properly.

And the third day, because the teacher going with them that time didnt know that she dont want to go. I realized only that she went with them when I fetched her in kindergarten, I saw her dress hanging on her hook space and her backpack is not there. She changed into jeans and warm jacket from those ready supplies in kindergarten. And when I asked her if she liked that trip, she said 'I am going to shower, it smells bad where we where.' (I asked her teacher about it the next day who said IC enjoyed the hike.) Hmmm...

Okay, these are just the terrors of the first hours of the morning; in the afternoon she would complain about the food even though I cooked what she asked me to, she would want to use those spoons and forks that are still dirty, etc, etc; and in the evening she would refuse to brush her teeth, would refuse to take a bath, would change her pajamas for a hundred time, bla, bla, bla... Arrghhhh!

Oh and a note that still makes me tingle all over when I try to talk to her, she wont look me in the eye; she would run away, she would cover her eyes and shake her head, she would hit me or pinch me, she would say no, she would cry so loud.... do I need the super nanny now?

Now I am asking you, is this how a four year old should be? Tell me that I am not alone on this, please :D


lovelyn said...

Oh my, that's really something. Didn't have it with my eldest and hope not with my tod.

You know what, me and my friend (who also has two girls)were just talking and he told me about her daughters(2and3)how they bang their heads and pull their own hairs when they throw tantrums. My boys never did those. He said maybe it has something to do with "girl's drama power" :-) .

lovelyn said...

Oh my, that's really something. Didn't have it with my eldest and hope not with my tod.

You know what, me and my friend (who also has two girls)were just talking and he told me about her daughters(2and3)how they bang their heads and pull their own hairs when they throw tantrums. My boys never did those. He said maybe it has something to do with "girl's drama power" :-) .

Analyse said...

cant help you with that, but yes sure, you're scaring the hell out of me.. ngek, why the change? i thought sa umpisa, nagdadalaga na.. and then, i thought, that's plain stubornness.. naku, kelangan ng disciplinary action ni IC.

an2nette said...

Hi raquel, i'm tonette from baden-w├╝rttemberg, having 7 kids is not that easy, i also experienced what you feel, have more patience at lilipas din ang tantrums ni IC, i always read your blog, thats the very first blog that i've read which motivated me to have one too and its enjoyable, hope you can help me to be a member of PMN, i did try, i even send comment to sexy mom, since we're both here in germany maybe you can help me, my email address is, hope to hear from you. tonette bachmann

feng said...

eh naku Raq, you're not alone. ganyan din ang anak ko kaarte simula nung nag four (01 April). kaya naman, nung ilang araw syang na bakasyon sa Lola nya, of course, na sad ako kasi miss ko sya. pero, count to think of it, nakaka relieve din coz at least, I'm temporarily freed sa pagiging terror nya. que horror!!!

pansin ko nga, very insistent na sya sa preferences nya ngayon. ang daming dahilan, it's driving me nuts, I tell you.

raqgold said...

lovelyn - naku, ma drama talaga ang mga girls, but minsan i simply watch the drama and not be right in the middle of one :D

analyse - haha, i didnt mean to scare you. naghahanap lang ako ng kakampi, i hope this would be only a phase though. making me real crazy.

tonette - thanks for visiting my blog and good to know you've got one of your own, too. i've visited it and have emailed you about PMN. maybe we'd have an EB here soon :D

feng - kung pwede ko lang sya dalhin sa mga lolo at lola, nya - hayyysss :) i little break would be good, and i hope this phase would pass soon, arrrgh!

Christianne said...

Yikes, natakot din ako na darating sa ganyang stage si Annika soon. Hindi dumaan sa ganyan si MC na super picky sa damit? But you know, I think this is just a phase and your IC will go back to her normal sweet self soon.

lady cess said...

buti nga ikaw 4 na, ako 3 year old pa lang ganyan na! waaa! tapos may boy pa ako na uuuubod din ng kulit!

but i sooo understand why you feel that your situation is unique. i feel the same way several times a day. stories like these, from blogs, from friends, assure me that my kids, we're actually so typical. but sometimes, i'm not sure if that's a relief :D

raqgold said...

christianne - MC isnt so extreme like IC is now. i hope she'll settle down soon. and with spring coming, she wont need too much clothes on :D

lady cess - am glad that MC is acting as a middle man between IC and I. she's becoming more mature and could handle IC's tantrums more than me, hahaha.

ScroochChronicles said...

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! (with matching horror music) Hahaha :)

I didn't go thru that with Gaby. Masyadong stable itong panganay ko. It's Adi who has been giving me these "terror" moments. Ganyan din sya, she can't seem to figure out what to wear. Sometimes she wants to wear sneakers with a formal dress. Or maybe a skirt instead of her pj's. Nakakaloka!! Kaya nga ako nag-yoyoga eh...pang alis ng stress..hehehe :)

raqgold said...

oh thanks, cookie, i needed that :D makapag yoga na nga rin!

Heart of Rachel said...

Hi Raq. I can relate. Yohan has tantrums now and then. He also 4-yrs old.

He is not hard to dress but he has so many excuses when it comes to other things like eating, brushing the teeth, taking a bath and going to sleep. There are just days that he doesn't seem cooperative.

My hubby nga calls us "magkapatid" kasi daw lagi kami nagaaway. Ha ha!

meeya said...

my ninna is four din pero *fingers crossed* hindi pa naman kami nagkakaroon ng ganyang awayan.

i think, IC being the second child, she's just trying to find her identity that's separate from her big sis'. thus the insistence re her clothes, as well as he show of independence. hopefully this will pass soon and, with your patience and support, she'll be able to find the sense-of-self she can be comfortable in. *hugs*

raqgold said...

rach - hay, minsan kakapagod makipag diskusyon esp since when it is too late for kindergarten na. tapos i dont want to start the day with temper di ba? oh well, i hope this would be over soon.

meeya - actually, they have their skeds of tantrums. basta nauna na si IC, sya na ang bida. kapag nauna sa tantrums ang sister nya, tahimik lang sya kahit alam mong gusto nya rin mag tantrum :) thanks for the hugs!

tintin said...

Raquel, I'd encourage you to set rules pertaining to this and if she doesn't follow through, she needs to have privileges taken away.

For example, have a set of rules and a Good Girl chart, and everytime she does something good, add a star to the chart with a special treat once she gets to 10 for the week.

then explain the new rules, Dress Rules; when you pick a dress, shoes, etc. the day before you can only change it one time to save time. If not, you have a star taken away from the chart.

Pinching or otherwise hurting anyone else is not allowed.

Screaming is not allowed

We only use kind words in the house.

Then proceed with the chart. Pretty soon she'll act in accordance with the chart.

Hope this helps...and i saw something like this on Super Nanny!

raqgold said...

tintin - what an interesting concept. i might just start something like this and ask the girls to work with me. thanks.